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John N. Felsher's Zany Adventures
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What's in a name?
Are you really sure you know what
to call that fish you just caught?
Roger Stegall, a professional bass angler from Iuka, Miss., holds up a
smallmouth bass and a Kentucky spotted bass.  Steven Felsher
holds up a white crappie and a yellow perch.  Darrell Moon, a guide
on Pickwick Lake, shows off a largemouth bass and a sauger, six of
the many species of fish found in this lake that spreads through
Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee.  People in different parts of the
country know these species by many various names.
       Long ago, when folks considered fishing a recreation instead of a
business, some anglers called largemouth bass, “green trout,” although it’s
not a trout, nor even a bass! However, it is green -- most of the time.
Perhaps they couldn’t think of any good acronyms that spelled G.R.E.E.N.
T.R.O.U.T. The title wouldn’t fit on business cards anyway.        
       Largemouth bass, smallmouth bass and Kentucky spotted bass, which
are sometimes called smallmouth bass, all belong to the Sunfish Family of
fish species. Their closest cousins, the ones they love to devour at every
opportunity, include bluegills, black and white crappie, goggle-eyes, rock
bass, pumpkinseeds, green sunfish, fliers, red-breasted sunfish and a
bunch of other diminutive species. Most people can’t tell more than one or
two species of sunfish apart anyway, so they lump them all together simply
as bream, perch or panfish.
       One exception to that rule, redear sunfish are easily identified by their
red trimmed “ear flaps,” which aren’t really ear flaps. A little scarlet trimming
on the gills gives these stocky olive green to golden sunfish their common
name. Here simplicity ends. Their propensity to eat snails, crushing them
with grinding teeth in their throats, give them another common name,
shellcrackers. Other people call them stumpknockers, yellow bream or
strawberry bream, but they don’t eat or taste like strawberries. Louisiana
Cajuns, who come up with different names for everything, call them
chinquapins, possibly named because their color resembles acorns on a
chinquapin or chestnut oak.
       Even familiar species sometimes cause identification problems. For
instance, several people from different parts of the country fished together
one day. One person caught a mess of crappie. Another used shiners to
catch white perch. One Cajun angler used jigs to catch sac-a-lait. Still
others on the trip caught calico bass, papermouths,  strawberry bass, silver
bass or bachelor perch. Some anglers caught speckled perch, or specks,
which should not be confused with a specks, or speckled trout which is not
a trout but a saltwater fish of the drum family, but not a freshwater drum
which is also called a gaspergou in Louisiana! Wow!
       At the end of the day, everybody cleaned the same two species of
fish,
Pomoxis nigromaculatus or black crappie and Pomoxis annularis or
white crappie. Many people lump both white and black species together
simply as crappie, or white perch, although neither is a perch and only one
is actually white, at least partially.
      Don’t confuse white perch with white perch, (Morone americana). White
perch, panfish-looking creatures that inhabit the Northeast and some
Atlantic states, look like white bass. It fact, this perch is more of a bass than
a bass, er, make that a green largemouth sunfish.
       Now that you are thoroughly confused, let’s return to talking about
bass. No, not those green and brown creatures with big mouths -- or small
mouths depending upon which section of the country one fishes. Those are
sunfish, remember? I’m talking about bass -- temperate bass such as
striped bass, white bass, yellow bass, and our little friend, the white perch,
the bass white perch, not the sunfish white perch which is really a crappie.
These bass collectively share little in common with those green bucket-
mouthed marauders of weed beds.
       Along the East Coast, people often call a striped bass a rockfish or a
rock bass. Don’t confuse these rock bass with rock bass, a type of northern
sunfish that looks similar to a goggle-eye or warmouth. Of course, many
northerners call rock bass goggle-eyes while many Southerners call goggle-
eyes rock bass.
       Back to white bass, which many people call silver bass or sand bass
and often confuse these with true striped bass, also known as rock bass.
Don’t confuse white bass with white perch, which, as you recall is really a
bass and not a perch, except for the one that’s a sunfish.
       Yellow bass look similar to white bass, which look similar to striped
bass, except for their golden color. They sport black stripes, or bars, on
their sides. Therefore, some people call them barfish. Of course, white bass
and striped bass also sport black bars and many people call them barfish.
Just to make it even, people often call a yellow bass, a striper. They also
call yellow bass “streakers” (maybe because they always swim naked, even
when in school), brassy bass (I like that name) or golden bass. Don’t
confuse golden bass with golden trout, which, ironically, is actually trout,
unlike a green trout or a speckled trout, neither of which are really trout.
Remember, a green trout is a bass that’s not really a bass, but a sunfish
and a speckled trout is really a drum, although some people call them
seatrout.
       Whew! Did you get all that? Still confused about what constitutes a
“bass?” Consider these other Southern species, which really aren’t bass,
but sunfish. Oh no, not back to that again!
       Redeye bass, also known as Alabama bass, Coosa bass or shoal
bass, inhabit the cold headwaters of small, swift streams in Alabama,
Georgia and parts of western South Carolina. They must think they are
trout, maybe a green trout, which is not a trout, but a bass that’s really a
sunfish. They almost resemble a cross between a largemouth and a
smallmouth bass, which, if you remember, is not really a bass either.
       A subspecies of shoal bass, the Apalachicola bass lives in the upper
reaches of the Apalachicola River system in Georgia, Alabama and
northern Florida. At least that makes sense. How did that happen?
      Ready for a quiz? Me neither. I think I’ll just order some fish sticks for
lunch. Nobody knows what kind of fish, if any, goes into those things
anyway.